ADD or bipolar? What about my marriage?
(Continuation) Never had kids or had an urge to get pregnant. Few interests in life. Just waiting to die, really.
Thought I should try the new meds, but found Prozac increased apathy. I'd be wading through laundry and didn't care. DH is a pack rat and only cleans up occasionally. Cleaning is tough with clutter. Boring too. Don't let people come over. Decided to get off Prozac and try something else. Thought I was getting MS because of brain zaps. Went through a very depressing time with a favorite dog dying at 6 of a brain tumor, and needed more help. PMD gave me Effexor, and after a while the apathy was evident with that too. Getting off that made me realize the brain zaps were from tapering these new drugs. I was truly miserable with depression and hopelessness. Saw a psychiatrist, who said it was ADD with depression, and started the antidep that starts with a C. Much like Effexor, and it was little help. I just wanted my dog back, and instead I was dealing with two other sick beloved dogs, which also died in middle age. By this time I was back to working at home with no people interaction, and I couldn't work FT. Lost my health benefits and went PT. I slept a lot. Tried to go back to school and conquer one difficult subject at a time, but couldn't focus. Finally found a very different job working outside. I was staying off meds. It was great, except I fell hard for a young coworker and had an affair. It was the happiest I've ever been and he was all I thought about, but of course it ended after 6 weeks because he was much too young for me. By the end I could tell I was hyperventilating, but at least no ADD sleepiness. I feel no regret except that it had to end.
So was that mania and does that mean I'm bipolar, or is this depression and ADD? My psychiatrist left town, and I hate to waste money on yet more medical bills. A very smart friend thinks I'm bipolar and wanted to put me in the hospital on the weekend. But who wants a dx of bipolar haunting them? Read More At : ...