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please help me, Married to my husband for 6 months & he physically assaulted me

My life is completely turning upside down. My husband and I were together for less than 6 months when we decided to get married. I work in a public sector job and when they found out my husband has previous domestic violence charges with his previous girlfriend, they warned me about him. I was an IDIOT, I told them he would never do that to me, he has changed. I almost lost my job because of the fact that he has charges and it's a conflict of interest with my job. We have been fighting non stop since we moved in together days after we got married. It started off him getting angry at littl

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please help me, Married to my husband for 6 months & he physically assaulted me

You need to leave, immediately. There is no other option. He is not going to change, he is going to get worse. Divorce him. At the same time you need to get help from a professional. You will never be in a healthy relationship if you are quick tempered. I'm so sorry for what you are going through but I really believe this relationship is doomed. I think you know that too.
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HELP HEROINE SOBOXINE addict (misspelled )

Hi. ..sorry it took so long for you to get a response. It's really hard when you don't have the support of your husband. You can only do so much alone.  It takes total support  of all that love him working together as a team,  with the same goal in mine. You have the right idea,  sounds like it's going to take time for dad to figure that out. Eventually he will see what you see. ..hopefully for his sons sake,  it's sooner  than later. It's very hard to "kick" your child out,  but by allowing him to continue as he is,  is only causing more danger for his son. Maybe try a compromise with dad this time. Give the son a chance at home detox,  along with follow up treatment, and a job soon to follow to keep him busy. This will all come down to tough love in the end. The saying " support his recovery only" are great words to follow. Maybe you could get dad to come here and read some of our stories ? Our stories are all the same. Heroin is not something easy to let go. ...most of our kids that "think" they can, find that they can't do it alone. Others don't want to quit,  so will tell us any thing they think we want to hear,  so they can continue on. Even if it means doing a detox,  I always felt to throw me off ...thinking ...he was OK, and on the right track.  The right track didn't come without intense treatment. Eventually dad will see it's more than can be done with just a detox. It's a very intense fight to get clean,  they NEED to want it,  also a battle of a different sort to stay that way. Good luck. ..here if you need us
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Agarophobia

You may want to put your question on the depression forum, or the appropriate "Ask a Doctor" forum. There are no doctors or medical experts for consultation on THIS forum. Now let me answer your question as best I can, because I can see how badly you feel. Your husband does have a form of anxiety, and because he knows what it is (agarophobia) he is therefore in a position to DO something about it. He needs professional help. Therapy, and perhaps some medication. He CAN get better. The only thing YOU can do is encourage him and let him know you support and love him. For a man especially, the inability to do something because he is frightened can sometimes make him feel like he is not really a "man," brave, strong, confident. In turn, he becomes angry and abusive and may also be afraid that he cannot even perform sex. Again, there is nothing you can do about this directly. HE is the one who must get help. You can encourage him to do so. I wish you the very best and a future happy married life.
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Clueless - Need help please!!

I am so sorry for your pain...Unfourtunitly he has to do this on his own...Maybe he would need rehab again...I don't know anything about herion, but some here do, and will try to help you.. Maybe you can attend some meetings for yourself, to help you...YOU have to stay healty and focused on your son... I know you are scared, and i am an addict so i know he is too...Just be there as much as you can , support him but do not enable him.. Read alot on here and grab on to all the info you can.. God bless you and your family. r2r
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Is my new husband an addict?

This one resonates with me a bit. I used to get 180 opiate-based pain pills from my doctor. I had (have) legitimate knee issues. I was badly addicted to those pills and kept it a secret from my wife for years. I told her after I had made the decision to quit on my own. I wish I had told her earlier. Here's my opinion: You're correct, your husband IS a pain pill addict. It's not a personal failure on his part, he's not a bad person, he's not doing this to hurt you or because he's weak. Opiate addiction is sneaky and insidious. It works gradually, and can get any person in it's grip, regardless of their circumstances. I think a good first step for you would be to find out if he's willing to admit he's an addict. Addicts tend to make their addiction this big taboo thing to talk about. I'd work at getting him to confide in you at first without pushing anything too hard. If he's hiding his pills, and having withdrawals periodically, he knows he's an addict, even if he won't admit it. If he's willing to admit his dependance, then you can walk down this road together. Find out how he feels about these pills. You and he can grow stronger together through this tribulation. Have him read this site. You should post on the "Living with an Addict" forum too. Good luck!
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Help me Please I married an Aspie

Thank you for sharing this.  It isn't easy.  You have stayed a long time.  Amazing!  Are there times when things worked good?  You said he is the best Dad bar none...wow!   Did you go to any counseling?  Did you know what he was like going into this?  Are there any groups locally that you are a part of who have couples who are married to someone on the Autism spectrum?  If not, maybe you might consider starting one. My daughter is an adult now and she has no interest in men which is probably good as she is the worst housekeeper...lol!  She lives with her Grandma and is was rocky initially as she would go shopping, be overwhelmed by sounds, and people and run ahead of Grandma through the doors not opening them to let Grandma through, not help carry things, not help with housework......etc., etc. I was getting calls from Grandma and/or my daughter with what I call...meltdowns. I dealt with that through through the time she moved away.  I had to accept that she is this way, and that the "normal" ways children display love for those in their life are not the same as those on the Autism spectrum.  However, it taught me much about loving others "in spite" of ....... (fill in the blanks with the disappointments) and then look at the good points (as in your case, you mention a number of good things about your husband).   It taught me that I was conditioned to think children should do or be such and such.  I suspect my husband has similarities and we believe his brother who committed suicide at nearly 18 was Aspergers.  I have lived through years of not having the closeness similar to what you describe.  He will say....."tell me what to say and I will say it".  Another famous thing he will say is.....you didn't tell me what to do or what you wanted done. I would get upset because I would say..."who told me that such and such needed done"? I have hung in there but honestly there are times I have been tempted to leave & wondered if it could be better.  No easy answer.
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does this boy with a sad past need professional help? Please read!

Have you had him evaluated by a mental health professional?  This is definitely where I would start.
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anxiety help please!

Anxiety can do all sort of weird things to you. We each might have different symptoms that we focus in on. I call them our main symptoms. They can change over time. Once I used to worry about panic attacks. Major worry. Now I don't even think about them at all. That has been taken over by a fear of throwing up. It is like we find something else to worry over. Then we forget about what we used to worry over. So to me anxiety is an ever changing condition. You know you are thinking of your legs and making things worse. That's a good thing to know. But now the whole idea is to get the mind distracted away from your legs. Do something to fill up your time. Be it a hobby or whatever you like doing. I am sure when you see your doctor things will be sorted out for you. But let your doctor what is wrong with you. Don't jump the gun and mention anxiety off the bat. If you do that he will just treat you as another anxiety person and not do much by way of tests at all. So go to him with leg problems and let him take it from there. Unless the doctor is already aware that you have an anxiety condition? I now see that in your first line of your post. Something tells me the doctor will know your anxiety history. I hope he doesn't just fob it all off on anxiety. Be good to rule out any medical problems. Keep us posted and I hope all goes well for you.
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please help hiv related ocd

Hi, you're dealing with guilt of keeping a secret. You know that your boyfriend was negative, and you know you are negative. You gave nothing to your husband, but your hiding a relationship that you had from him. I always say go with the facts here and not your emotions. He loves you and you are with him now. There should be no secrets in a marriage; I think you should tell him. He wanted you back and your with him. You dating someone during your break, you didn't cheat on him - you did nothing wrong.
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Is my new husband an addict?

Hi & Welcome, You will not be judged here so don't fret over that. Everything that you spoke of screams volumes that he is abusing pain medication. It is at almost epidemic proportions in this country so no surprise there. The very first thing you need to do is educate yourself like you are here and confront him. By confront him I mean sit and talk with him. Ask him to be honest and ask if he needs help. If he begins lying, which he may very well do, then you can decide what to do from there. Keep talking here and ask any questions you need. We will support you through this.
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