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How do I cope with the fact that my stepson has molested my daughter?

I recently was informed that my stepson who is now 26 molested my daughter who is now 20 for 12 years of her life. I ask why she did not tell me and she said she was scared it would tear the family apart. This is extremely stressful on my marriage and family. I want to help my daughter anyway I can but I can not even begin to think about my stepson other than with hatred. He is currently in Prison for another crime and he will be released soon. I want no contact with him and I have twins that are 15 that will not have any contact with him but my husband will. My husband and I can not communica

Research, Knowledge and Information :


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How Do I Keep My Conduct Disordered Step-son From Molesting My Children? Ask Dr. Dombeck Feb 18, ... My stepson molested my daughter after we were all in bed asleep.
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My Stepson sexually abused my daughter, but his fa. ... My Stepson is now telling my stepdaughter at school that it doesn't matter whether he " ...
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My Son is Molesting My Daughter. ... sitting and for now my daughter is sleeping in bed ... replay event Rebound With Resilience and see how you can cope, ...
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Dealing with an Older Stepson « Power to Change


Dealing with an Older Stepson Written by Dennis and Barbara Rainey. Trying to survive your blended family marriage? Question: My husband and I have developed a ...
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Stepchild Has Been Molesting My Daughter!!! - Circle of Moms


All Communities > Step Moms > Stepchild has been molesting my daughter!!! Stepchild ... all of this for me is this is not the first time my daughter has been molested.
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How I had a great relationship with my stepson... until he ...


How I had a great relationship with my stepson ... When my 16-year-old stepson Patrick first asked to come and live ... I knew I could cope with trailing around ...
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My son is the molester! What do I do? | DailyStrength


My son is the molester! What do I do? Posted by: deleted_user 07/27/2011 Mood: Ok . Life has changed since Friday. ... My stepson molested my daughter for approx 2 years.
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Suggested Questions And Answer :


How do I cope with the fact that my stepson has molested my daughter?

If this were me, I would think of my own children above all else.  That includes marriage, under these circumstances.  I would not be able to stand my own husband having any contact with a child molester, son or not.  I would have to take my kids and leave - let him have his contact by himself.  But that's just me.
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my 4 year old daughter was molested struggling with my decision

Oh goodness.  Sorry about this situation.  here is the unfortunate thing . . .  child upon child molestation is very common when the child you see as the aggressor was molested by someone else.  See what I'm saying?  The 4 year old who started it is most likely also a victim.  Very sad.  She's either experienced something or seen something.   What does her father say about it?  He is who you need to talk to as HE should be as concerned as you are.  I wouldn't approach it like his older daughter is a monster or something as in truth, she is just a very young girl that has probably had something happen to her.  View her as a child that needs help, not some demon you must rid your home of.   How are rules followed in your house?  What type of discipline to you use?  I would supervise these two at all times (and now your daughter with any younger children as she too could act this out on someone else) and put into place VERY firm rules.  No, you may not do X behaviors.  Tell them that young ladies do not do such things to each other and it is not permitted in your home.  (I mean, we aren't talking about teenagers here but a 4 year old and 6 year old---  you should be able to mandate rules and supervise to make sure.)   But really, I'd have an issue with the father in this case if he is not on board with getting these girls some help.  I would strongly consider some type of counseling for the older child and keeping a watchful eye on the younger child.  She may eventually need some counseling as well.   So, again, what does the dad say about this?  I think I'd be looking into what is going on in the other home with the young girl and if anything has also happened to the other sisters.  Very sad indeed.  
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Does our fighting make our daughter have signs of ADHD?

Hm.  Well, it certainly doesn't help the situation at all.  It models an unhappy household for your daughter.  She sees the relationship you have with her dad and internalizes this to represent marriage.  She also sees you handling things poorly and openly fighting in front of her.  This is very very damaging to a child.   I would seek therapy for yourself to get better control over your impulse to show your anger openly in front of anyone who is around and to work through your emotions of anger to your husband.  Perhaps the two of you can also consider marriage therapy if you care to save this and do right by your kids.   Yes, it is indeed damaging to fight in front of kids regularly and yes it indeed conributes to anxiety and behavior issues.  It won't cause a diagnosis of add/adhd but it will make the disorder harder to deal with and in the long run cause great stress and damage to your daughter.  good luck
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my 2 yr olds sister is molesting her

Your daughter and this 5 year old should NEVER be left unsupervised given the situation.  Also, I seriously question the recommendation of the counselor whom you spoke to concerning this issue.  Discipline isn't the answer and will likely hurt more than help this situation primarily because this 5 yr. old is merely acting out what was done to her.  This is very typical of children who were sexually abused.  What she needs is mental health counseling ASAP.  Child sexual abuse causes deep emotional wounds which can alter ones behavior negatively.  This can only be corrected with proper mental health counseling. Additionally, I would consider having your daughter evaluated by a mental health professional as well given that she also was and perhaps is still being subjected to sexual abuse.  Even though she is 2 years of age, she still can receive therapeutic services. Please keep in mind that depending which country you live, seeking mental health counseling can trigger a Child Protective Service report if the therapist suspects abuse.  If this occurs, they will make sure all those involved will get the treatment they need with or without parental consent. You need to do everything you can to protect your daughter from the emotional harm of sexual abuse.
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trying to stay up, yet now ?

Well I would suggest family therapy so all the issues and conflicts could be discussed together.
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Son with Autism, New Baby on the way

Ahh, well congrats on the baby.  You've perhaps had him or her by now! I think the key is supervision.  I had a 15 month old and a newborn--- so some things were the same.  Without meaning to, my toddler could hurt the baby.  So, you keep the baby with you, use the word 'gentle' with your autistic step son, and guide him.  You don't want him to squeeze and hug the baby (something my pediatrician told me as while giving that type of love, babies can get hurt)---  so you teach them how to pat their feet, put their hand so baby can hold THEIR finer, gentle kisses on top of the head and basically, doing a lot of talking with the child.  Your baby will LOVE watching him.  My babies all loved older cousins and would laugh and laugh.   So, you keep baby close to you at all times and then have a rule about not going into baby's room without a grown up so you can put baby down without fear. Something else my pediatrician did was have me say to the baby "okay baby,, you have to wait a minute, it's brother's turn now."  The baby didn't care (wouldn't pick when the baby was crying to do this).  And then the brother would feel like "hm, okay, baby gets turns and I get turns for mom's attention too".  So, when you tell him that he has to wait a minute for you to do some baby care, he'll not feel like it is always about the baby. I have two sons.  My oldest has sensory integration disorder.  My younger son has seen him (a gazillion times) at his worst, has been the target of bad behavior, has spent countless hours at his brother's therapy sessions in the waiting room . .    and yet, they are the best of friends.  He adores his big brother.  :>)  good luck to you
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Do you ever wish you could....

Hey Jim I have no idea if you are religious (I am not), but even so, God never gives us anything we cannot handle. Relative to other peoples' lives, you have a lot on your plate. Each issue you face, should you choose to perceive it as such, is a chance to develop your capacity to grow and learn. There are no right answers here, as there never are. Don't be afraid to be weak, or admit you cannot handle it. You are only human Jim. Things happen every single day, as though there is no end to the struggle? In other words, when is that future where things are "ideal" going to come? In planning for the future, life happens. It is up to you Jim, you can focus on things you can influence, such as your response to the issues (change perspectives etc), or you can focus on things you cannot control (affordable health insurance, car problems). Which do you think will allow you some reprieve? Influence. My heart goes out to you Jim, I wish you the best.
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I think my daughter has been molested. I don't know how to handle this

This could be normal sexual curiosity. It is shocking to catch small kids doing this sort of stuff but more than likely your niece has seen her parents have sex. It is actually common for kids to engage in this behavior.  The older they get the more guilt they feel when caught.  Kids who are sexually abused will often show other behaviors such as behavior problems , smearing feces, eating disorders ect.  Hopefully it's just curiosity.  If you niece sleeps with her parents or if they don't lock the door that could be the sorce
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daughters boyfriend

No its your daughter LOL if he came in my house and lite up one i would snatch it out of his mouth hes a punk if he cant respect you and if he threw butts in the yard oh hell his *** would pick em all up plus i would tell my daughter dont bring him here if he cant follow our RULES
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