pregnant, cheated on and impregnated his ex
Everyone is tested in their lives it seems, with atrocities of all measure. You and I are no exception. Welcome to Medhelp and thank you for posting. Your insight into your circumstances is valuable to many women in your position. Your strength is showing through, although i know right now, you are broken and i'm so sorry for that.
Do you have family that you can stay with during your pregnancy (that are helpful and not harmful to you and the baby) ? > there is absolutely no good that can come from walking out of one disaster into another.
Do you have any supportive friends, currently, because as i say a lot, never say never, if it hasn't happened for you, it just hasn't happened for you yet.
There are a number of options for you. You've said this... " he's emotionally and physically abused me, sweared at me a million times " This means that he's dangerous to you, and to your baby. You must try to stop him from having visitation until he's attended drug alcohol abuse (if that's why he's so unstable) and/or Anger Management classes. Your number one priority must be to protect your baby and only have them around trustworthy people. People that are competent caregivers.
If it was me, and he had assaulted me recently, i would go to the police and charge him and get a restraining order. I would do this from a trusted friends place, or a women's shelter that he hopefully cannot find. You had a baby with an unstable man and now you have to take responsibility for the fact that you put yourself and baby at risk, and do everything you can now , to do so. (or your baby will resent you, and perhaps be marred by your decision).
When you start to feel bad about charging him, or at the very least getting a restraining order, think again about the fact that this guy, if he wants help to become a parent that deserves a child, can and will do whatever it takes to regain partial custody (the ideal IF both parents are responsible.)
If money is a problem, as it is in many cases, while you're at the women's shelter, they will help you to get welfare, enough for first and last, You can go to school on a loan and become able to provide for your child if you need to. If you are financially stable and have already gotten a post secondary education, obviously you're ahead of the game and you can disregard the above.
You may or may not have come from an abusive home yourself, as many women do come from co dependent homes (a reason why you might not want to go home to your folks), or may not have. If you have, you may need counseling to avoid being attracted to another abusive relationship. This is REALLY important. (trust one that has gone from bad to worse, with men, before getting therapy myself . Fortunately i ended up with a very well adjusted, calm, centered family man). You too can find the right guy for you, but you need to be stable yourself. First things first. Have you worked in the past? Read More At : ...