Don't know what is going on in my head
I am so sorry to hear of all you're enduring! As difficult as it may be to switch meds, it's got to be easier than what you are enduring now. So, I would talk to your doctor about this. It is often trial and error in finding the one that works best for you. It also sounds like you are developing some agoraphobia in only feeling safe at home. I have never tried EMDR but below is a link that explains all the benefits.
It sounds like you have some compulsive thoughts going on as well. Do you feel your counselor is doing you any good? It may be time to switch, and maybe see a psychiatrist for treatment. Never think about suicide, your husband and children would be devestated and you don't know that it wouldn't be a worse thing. Most of all YOU deserve to have a happy and normal life! All of your symptoms do fit "soft bi-polar" which is a lot like depression but with mood swings, anxiety,fears, and obcessive behavior. There's got to be a better medication for you to take for this. I know you feel so hopeless right now, but there is hope and you can feel better. I would speak to your doctor about treatment for the bi-polar and find a new therapist. I think your treatment needs to be re-directed towards the soft bi-polar for better results. We're glad you're here, there are wonderful people here to offer support and advice for you. Stay with us as others offer advice, and support. There are more knowledgeable people than myself who will be able to give you other ideas. Stay strong, we've all been there so you're with people who understand and care. You can get through this, it's just determining the right direction in which you need to go. Try to be strong. Take care, and keep talking with us. Read More At : ...