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Raped 7 years and only going to therapy now, I'm terrified of talking about it.

Seven years ago I lost my virginity when I was raped by a friend at a house party. I had told him no and couldn't get away. I didn't say anything at the time as I blamed myself for being too drunk. A few months later he was arrested for drugging and raping another girl. Since then I've no self esteem, I attract people who use me and cheat. I push people away and have anxiety around men. I drink heavy. I've never had sex sober. I'm scared of letting anyone get close. Recently I've pushed away someone I was genuinely interested as I panicked he was getting too close, he&#

Research, Knowledge and Information :

I'm terrified of dating after rape : TwoXChromosomes

I'm terrified of dating after rape Support ... For various reasons I didn't go to the police. Now I'm 21 and I haven't ... talking it out in a therapy session is ...
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Questions and Answers about the Process of Psychotherapy

I’ve only been in therapy for ... I have been going to therapy for almost 3 years now and have ... I also have been in therapy for about 7 years, ...
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My eight year old son finally told me his secret - MDJunction

My eight year old son finally told me his secret: My eight year old son ... one thing I'm now terrified of is ... I just told my therapist why i hate going to therapy.
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My Husband Raped My Daughter - Jigsaw Parenting

My ex-husband raped my ... she has therapy now that will help ... I was abused by a family friend for 7 years so I know a little about this. The only thing you ...
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Raped and Sold by my mom, Now she's pregnant and I want to ...

... Raped and Sold by my mom, Now she's pregnant and I want to die. (She's Being prosecuted) ... she was 7-8 years old. She's been going to therapy since she was ...
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They Can No Longer Hurt Me - Family Friend Poems

That they can no longer hurt ... The old man living there raped and molested me. I was terrified. ... But the thing was he was only 4 years older than me. I'm now 13 ...
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Forum: I'm afraid of men | DeviantArt

Every muttered comment accusing Kesha of lying about her sexual assault to get out ... rape case. As of now, the best & only ... 7 years, and I pretend I'm ...
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Child Rape | Pandora's Project

... For Survivors and Interested Others. By: ... If there were years of rape in your ... up and fight for the raped children of the world, and I’m going to suggest ...
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Kidnapping of Jaycee Dugard - Wikipedia

Kidnapping of Jaycee Dugard; ... Garrido admitted he had kidnapped and raped her. Only after this did ... she would begin animal therapy by riding or petting ...
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Suggested Questions And Answer :

Raped 7 years and only going to therapy now, I'm terrified of talking about it.

Everything you are feeling is normal. You have never learned how to deal with your assault so you are coping the only way you know how. You need to speak with a counselor that specializes with rape victims.  
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Don't know what is going on in my head

I am so sorry to hear of all you're enduring!  As difficult as it may be to switch meds, it's got to be easier than what you are enduring now.  So, I would talk to your doctor about this. It is often trial and error in finding the one that works best for you.  It also sounds like you are developing some agoraphobia in only feeling safe at home. I have never tried EMDR but below is a link that explains all the benefits. It sounds like you have some compulsive thoughts going on as well. Do you feel your counselor is doing you any good?  It may be time to switch, and maybe see a psychiatrist for treatment. Never think about suicide, your  husband and children would be devestated and you don't know that it wouldn't be a worse thing. Most of all YOU deserve to have a happy and normal life! All of your symptoms do fit "soft bi-polar" which is a lot like depression but with mood swings, anxiety,fears, and obcessive behavior.  There's got to be a better medication for you to take for this. I know you feel so hopeless right now, but there is hope and you can feel better.  I would speak to your doctor about treatment for the bi-polar and find a new therapist.  I think your treatment needs to be re-directed towards the soft bi-polar for better results. We're glad you're here, there are wonderful people here to offer support and advice for you.  Stay with us as others offer advice, and support.  There are more knowledgeable people than myself who will be able to give you other ideas.  Stay strong, we've all been there so you're with people who understand and care.  You can get through this, it's just determining the right direction in which you need to go.  Try to be strong.  Take care, and keep talking with us.
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Talk therapy helpful?...really?

I completely understand about telling a stranger our backgrounds and feeling judged. I just started seeing someone new bc my old doc retired in Nov. The new guy is weird in my opinion and raises his eyebrows at me a lot, haha. I keep telling him when he is doing it again but he always looks surprised. I really liked my old doc bc he had a way of keeping things light when I would get teary and he was never critical. I did count on going to him for support and med adjustments. Shrinks are a dime a dozen in my opinion and really hard to find one that suits you. I would be irritated too if someone talked to me about my "choices". That sounds like what we tell our kids in grade school. Good thing the forum fills in the blanks when we need it.
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My 2 1/2 year old toddler

It could just be that he is behind have you thought about getting speach theorpy?  Is he an only child?  sometimes only children are delayed because there is no interaction with other children.  I really wouldnt get to worried till he's five and still doing the same thing.  sometimes it just takes a little to get started.  Thoughts abd prayers are with you Julie
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I'm not sure what to do

Trust me when I say that these psychiatrists, they have heard it all and then some.  You could not possibly tell him anything he hasn't already heard before.  You are paying him good money so get in there and get your money's worth.  Tell him everything that is bothering you from the thoughts (and nothing is too stupid or irrational to say)  to the social anxiety because in the end he can't help you fix what he doesn't know is broke.  Do you really want to go on living your life this way?  Get it out and soon so you can start working on the solution to this problem.  My best.  
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Fentanyl crisis

Hi Christina: Congratulations on your sober time!  I'm sorry your son is in trouble. I'm a bit confused.  Your post says "Fentanyl Crisis" but you say your son is addicted to "greenies."    Aren't 'greenies' speed?  Or at least some type of amphetamine ? I remember there was a lot of press a while ago about professional athletes using "greenies" to improve their performance while playing... If your son is addicted to fentanyl, which is an opiate, then you know what to expect in terms of've been down that road yourself (as have I!).  But if he is addicted to speed, that changes things. W/D's from amphetamines is tricky.   If this is the case, I'd take him to a hospital.   Depending on how much he was using, w/d from amphetamines can cause a range of pretty nasty symptoms, including cardiac arrhythmia's...that's what makes me nervous. Hugs, -Robin
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scared to faint when driving and losing control and dying due to crashing!!

Hi,   This has been happening to me a lot.  I frequently feel faint weak and lightheaded.  It can increase even with a visit from a friend or a family member.. I feel more anxious and will feel like this.  Sometimes I feel like I will lose control with them there....  I would recommend you get help as soon as you can .. I have let mine go on for about 3months and now I am dizzy off and on all day and exhausted and having a hard time caring for my home and family.   I am having some form of a panic attack every day.   I have resorted to taking Xanax the last few days to just get thru the day.  I am reading the book called the Mood Cure by Julia Ross....    she recommends using supplements, vitamins and amino acids to help with depression and anxiety.  I started taking the 5http today we will see how it goes.  There has been days that I honestly thought I should just go to the hospital and stay there for  few weeks.  I have felt that ill and weak.  I am going to have my adrenal glands tested ....    I wish you the best and will be praying for you.
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Which type of therapy helps

a psychiatrist can prescribe medication. a phsychologist on the other hand, cant. Ive been to both successful and not so successful therapists.  What really helped me was a therapist who just let me talk about my life.  She drew upon connections between things i wouldnt have linked together in my mind, but they totally make sense.  I never knew what cause my anxiety until I saw a therapist and she really made me in-tune with myself and helped get to the root of my issues and gave my tips on how to cope.  She gets down to the chemistry of anxiety...such as taking deep breaths releases some hormone which counteracts the anxiety hormone, therefor easing anxiety. Little tricks like that.  Therapy is very helpful, especially if your really are looking to overcome and cope with anxiety.  I really recomend medication just because it has saved my life in many ways.  Im not a huge fan of being on pills, but honestly im torturing myself if i dont take them because i know how much they help.  Its great that you have sought help...and i think you will realize how important it was that you took this step! good luck!
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Social and dating anxiety

First let me congratulate you on being a 19 year old virgin. Most girls your age have NO respect for themselves at all. I think there is some reason your so antisocial but i do believe it is because you have a fear of rejection and not being accepted. You have got to understand one thing, before anyone else can accept you, you have to learn to accept yourself. You have to know your worth. Dont go through life believing that everyone you meet is going to like you because i'm one of billions who will tell you that will never happen. Im not sure if what im about to tell you is the best advice but its all i can think of that might help you out, since you chat with people online, maybe find someone from another country, start chatting, once you feel more comfortable try telephone conversations or using the mic on your computer. When you feel more comfortable try using a webcam in order to just see each other. This way if things dont work out smoothly delete their A**. You've lost nothing and you will never ever have to worry about bumping into them at the supermarket. Maybe this will build your self-esteem. If i am not being too nosey... Do you feel there is something wrong with yourself that others will constantly reject you for ?
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