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Can someone tell me if this is abuse?

My husband has always spouted off at the mouth and said horrible things.  Here is the new situation.  He took a job in Sept. in another state,  and I still live in TX.  I am supposed to meet him in Illinois after the new year due to a lease we still have.  He has also moved us from MI, to OK, to TX, and now IL in less than 2 years!  I thought it best to stay at our apt. in TX in case the job in IL didn't work out he would have a place where there are more job opportunities.  He has hated us being apart, but treats me hor

Research, Knowledge and Information :


can someone tell me is this domestic violence / abuse


Thread: can someone tell me is this domestic violence / abuse. Share Tweet Pin WhatsApp. Thread Tools. ... can someone tell me is this domestic violence / abuse
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Domestic Violence: You Can Stop The Abuse


You can stop the abuse by leaving and ... I once had a therapist tell me that 20% of all marriages ... They need someone else to tell them what most of us can ...
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Report Something | Facebook Help Center | Facebook


To report something yourself, you can fill out this form. ... tell them to visit the Help Center to get help. ... connect with your friend or call someone who can.
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How can I tell someone about the abuse that is going on ...


Well you can tell someone about the abuse that is going on without it seeming like you're tattling in many ways.. One way is just to say you are concerned for the ...
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The National Domestic Violence Hotline | Someone I Know is ...


... Home / Someone I Know is Being Abused. Should I Call ... to help someone experiencing abuse: ... me and I can’t do what people tell me I should and what I ...
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Heart Touchers - How do you know if you have been abused?


Following is a list of ways to tell if someone is verbally or ... (Adams, 1992), and Verbal Abuse Survivors ... TALKING ABOUT IT TO SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST IS THE ...
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Childhood Sexual Abuse: How Men Can Help Women Recover


Childhood Sexual Abuse: How Men Can Help Women Recover. ... “Partners always tell me they can’t stand being sexually rejected when they had ... Someone totally ...
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Suggested Questions And Answer :


How can I tell if someone is abusing drugs?

YOU can tell when some one is using crack  because they are moody, tired, dont want to see there friends any more, they make new friends like drug friends, If I was you I would ask him and if not just keep a close eye on him and get some books for health centers about drugs and they will help you I know this because I have been on it.
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Can Someone Help Me With An Opiate Withdrawal Day 4 Question?

well I just googled it and it is possible.  Are you taking any other meds or supplements for withdrawals?
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Need help

It sounds like he needs help.  But so do you - find an alanon meeting to connect w/others going through what you are and I'm sure you'll realize what you need to do.  Only you can answer that question - we are in no position to tell you to leave the situation or try to get him help.  But we are here to listen - this forum is great for that. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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help for someone who has been sexually abused

There is a thread on this site for people who have been sexually abused.  You will probably find more help there. Good Luck
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Need help

hello and welcome. i understand your frustration,anger,hurt,sadness and feeling of helplessness. living with an addict can be all consuming. you see the devasation and the havoc it is causing,yet them seem oblivious to it. denial,mood changes,abusive,deceit,lie are all part of the cycle of addiction. you are right he has to make the decision to stop. the first step is to admit he has a problem, to himself and then to you. how long should you wait for that to happen? that is up to you. begging,pleading,crying,arguing,threatening doesnt work. it will just cause you to get more frustrated and angry. when he comes home and is abusive, dont talk to him,leave the room,leave the house. just get away from him. do you have a clergymen you can talk to? i would suggest you attend alanon meetings. here is the link http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ many times we become enablers. we can become just as sick as them. addiction is a family disease. we have to learn not to live in their addiction. alanon provides support from others who have lived with or are living with addicts. there is so much to learn about addiction. how long have you been married? how long has he been drinking? there is hope... keep the faith.. sending support and encouragement debbie
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Am I weak person? Is any of this normal?

Norrin, Welcome to this site. Responses on this site have been slow recently but there are some awesome support folks on here and I encourage you to stay with us. You describe exactly what all of us live with when we love an addict. My addict is my adult son who has finally hit 9 months sober so it CAN be done. There are 2 other women on here who are truly gifted at being able to guide our broken hearts through the agony of loving an addict. Both of them will tell you that the fact that you are feeling calm when your wife tells you she is done with you means that you have hit your bottom. We become so hurt, disillusioned, used as we live with an addict that at a certain point our emotions shut down. I honestly felt like I just didn't care anymore. I just wanted him to go away. And this is a child I gave birth to and loved more than I loved myself....but I was so done. And that is probably where you are now. Everyone on here will tell you it is not possible to have a healthy relationship with an addict. Addicts use us for their needs. They do not have it in them in active addiction to truly care for and reciprocate in a relationship. If they are being nice and caring...it is because they want something from us. And I am sure they hate themselves for using us that way but it is the way of addiction. It owns them and takes priority over all things. Painful to hear I know. I have been there. It is so good that your spouse is in rehab/recovery currently. This is a very unbalanced time for an addict and they must focus on themselves and their recovery above all else during this time. Your wife sounds confused and that is absolutely normal under the circumstances. Imagine the remorse and regret an addict must confront when they emerge from the drug addled minds. The pain is immense and sometimes manifests itself in anger as well. You have suffered too. And you deserve to be able to step away and let her deal with her issues and give you time to recover. AlAnon would be a wonderful support environment for you right now but this , and other, sites saved my sanity during my years of dealing with my son. You have paid a huge price for your wife's addiction and your attempt to help her has dragged you down. Best advice we can give is the addict has to want it for themselves and has to do the work. They can't do it for us or a marriage or for anything else. If they don't do it for themselves, it just won't stick. Back away and focus on yourself right now. Take care of yourself. Only time will tell if she stays in recovery and still wants this marriage. I wish the best for you. Please ask us any questions and I will try to stay close to how things progress for you  
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will u help

Hi Leah, We hear you as I have said it is a good idea to get some help,go to see a school counselor to seek help, tell them all, start there, Have you a Family Doctor as even though you are a minor you could ask  there,, also the Child Protective services, we cannot tell you here regarding a Lawyer, but there is help out there. Have you any adult relative to speak to about this ongoing problem? I feel for you you have to get the help, start with school speak to your Teacher ask for help from them.. Good Luck
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does she have BPD or abusive?

I just lost my message.  Just briefly, I think you could be making erroneous assumptions (that your mother is cognizant of her behavior and how that impacts on you). I don't know if your mother is angry with you or with what caused you to be in this situation or with herself.  Does she feel responsible?  She may be running from you because she has trouble dealing with what she feels she may have caused/ contributed.  Most likely she is running from some aspect that she has difficulty tolerating.  Not sure what that is.  The hurt?  The physical violence?  The vulnerability?  The loss? It could be that she can't get past that to even see you and see that her actions are hurting you. I think you need to talk to her.  Tell her how you feel.  Ask her what is wrong, what she thinks and feels, why she is so angry, what have you done to make her feel this way. If you don't want to do that, what about writing a letter to her? You both need to talk.  I think that you both might need therapy.  I think that your mother needs to work through some of her thoughts and feelings with someone.  It almost sounds as though your mother may be depressed or still in shock.  It sounds as though she may have just closed herself off to protect herself. What does your father suggest?  Is he aware of what is going on with your mother?
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was i abused ???

Kaz,  I would be interested to hear why you need to define it as "abuse" or not.  From your memory,  (although you say it's not a clear memory,  it sounds fairly clear to me),  you were uncomfortable with the sexual advances of an older boy,  and after several incidences,  you told an authority figure and it stopped. To me,  that sounds like molestation,  which is one form of abuse.  There are many forms of abuse,  I guess.   First off,  why do you have a question as to whether that's abuse,  and secondly,  what will it do when everyone says yes you were abused.   I'm curious because that question gets asked SO MUCH - not just on this abuse board,  but on relationships and sexuality boards.  Someone posts something that would surely qualify as abuse and then asks am i being abused.   I don't mean this post to sound harsh - I just don't see why there's a question here. Best wishes.
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