Day 8:) Updated all...and sharing my little bit of hope:))
Good Afternoon Young Lady!!!
So good to hear from you and almost see a bit of a smile from here. I like the idea of writing a goodbye letter to your doc. DominoSarah always says to do that and I know it is helpful. Hang on to it and read it when you feel cravings--it will help you remember what you left behind.
I have to share something funny----The last two nights my husband has noticed I have been typing a lot and asked me what was going on. He sits in a chair by my desk in the den and he can hear the keyboard chiming away. I told him I was getting in touch with treatment centers and looking for meetings, etc. for a very special lady that I met here. He said "Wow, it sounds like you are writing a book over there. Are you able to help her out in any way?". I told him "Well, so far I've got her flying to Antigua and going to a men's meeting. I don't think I am much help at all". And then I had to laugh---you poor thing, I must have drove you crazy. LOL If nothing else I was probably entertaining!!
But you know what? While we were doing all of that--you didn't use!! That is the cool part!!
And you promised that you were going to start going to meetings and that is a good thing too. I know it is very hard to understand, but this is the danger zone you are in. You are almost through the physical withdrawal, the worst of it anyway, and you are starting to feel better mentally. Often at this point we float around on a pink cloud and everything seems fine. We are sure that we have this beat and tell ourselves that we will never use again. And BANG!! It sneaks up and whacks you in the back of the head when you least expect it. THAT is why aftercare is so very important. You learn to learn what your triggers are you and need to get the tools to fight them when they hit.
The disease of addiction is cunning, baffling & powerful. It is also patient and will wait for you until your guard is down and then it will get you. Don't think it is any different for you than it is for me. I still have thoughts and I still have cravings. Some days I can laugh it off and some days I hold on to the chair for my life and pray a lot. Having the tools I need and surrounding myself with recovering people is what is helping me stay clean.
I hope you follow through on the meetings-make some new, clean friends who have learned to live life without the use of drugs and promise life will be good!! And keep posting...the community needs to hear success stories and you are a good example to the new people who come here struggling. Read More At : ...